The way of
THE LIST
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DATE WITH DEPTH

The List is a private dating journal for gaining clarity about your own dating experiences. Keep your notes and observations in one place, notice patterns over time, and stay true to yourself as a connection develops.

Meet people naturally, recognize mixed signals, and date with confidence.

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Your List

3 people

James M.

48 · Houston, TX

Active

Last updated: Today

85Peace

Sofia R.

34 · Boston, MA

Stepped Back

Last updated: 1 week ago

😈😇 34Activated

Chris L.

26 · Sacramento, CA

Ended

Last updated: Today

🚩 Not
read yet

3 people on your list

Your List in THE LIST on a phone: the All tab with four fictional sample people -- James M. active, Michael T. paused, Sofia R. stepped back, Chris L. ended -- each with a private label of their own

Words vs Actions

Active

What they said

What happened

"I want to see you again."

Suggested Saturday and made the plans.

✓

"I respect your pace."

Accepted my boundary without pressuring me.

✓

"I'll plan our next date."

I ended up choosing the place and making the reservation.

✕

"I want to understand."

Listened, asked questions, and remembered what mattered to me.

✓

3 of 4 statements matched reality.

1st Dates 2nd Dates 3rd Dates +

Philosophies

Explore a library of over 1,000 writings from ancient and modern philosophy and scripture across 51 themes of the human experience. Astrological observations are also an option.

How The List works

1

Add someone you are getting to know

The List does not find people or suggest matches. You privately add people you meet.

2

Check in after you spend time together

For a quick minute, record how you felt, whether their actions matched their words, and any green flags, red flags, or notes you want to remember.

3

See the whole connection clearly

Review their dates, your observations, values & fit, communication, actions versus words, and the patterns that emerge when there is enough information.

The List showing the fictional sample profile James M.: his list card, at-a-glance details, what she likes, what she is watching, and a Peace Level of 90

DATE TABS

Every date adds to the picture.

Keep each date separate so you can notice what changes and what stays consistent. Add a new tab after each date.

1st. Initial Impression, red and green flags, summary, first-date warmth.

2nd. Consistency tracker, tone shifts, follow-through.

3rd. Intentions, honesty checkpoints, compatibility score.

+ Every date after that, kept the same way.

The List showing the date tabs on Your List, with four fictional sample profiles who reached a first date, beside the fictional sample profile Sofia R. open on her second date
1st Date2nd Date3rd Date+

Coffee at Blacksmith

3 weeks ago

Easy conversation, felt relaxed. They asked good questions and actually listened.

Initial Impression

Low pressure. See if I feel comfortable being myself.

Emotional Temperature

80%

Warm & at ease

Red Flags

None on this date.

Green Flags

  • On time
  • Asked thoughtful questions
  • No phone on the table

Dating gets clearer when you can see the whole story.

Remember the details

The moments and conversations that reveal the truth over time.

Reflect after every date

How you felt, and what you noticed.

Recognize your patterns

What keeps repeating, across everyone.

Explore wisdom across traditions

Study ancient and modern philosophies or scriptures of your choice, from 149 sourced writings across 27 traditions.

YOUR LIST

Everyone you are getting to know, in one place.

A private page for each person: what they do, what you like, what you are watching for, and how at ease you felt. Mark them Active, Paused, Stepped Back or Ended and they file themselves away.

Widen the list and it becomes a comparison table, so you can see everyone's dates, red flags, green flags, and peace level side by side.

PersonDatesRedGreenPeace Level

James M.

Active
3 1 6 85%

Sofia R.

Stepped Back
2 3 2 34%

Michael T.

Paused
1 3 3 60%

4 people on your list

The List showing the date tabs on Your List, with four fictional sample profiles who reached a first date, beside the fictional sample profile Sofia R. open on her second date

Memory Timeline

2026

Monday, January 5

Midnight on the balcony

Everyone else was inside. He said he was not going anywhere.

Wednesday, February 18

He met my mother

ACTIONS VS WORDS

Not what they said. What they showed.

Put statements beside what actually happened, with a running score at the bottom, on a timeline you can read at a glance.

Alongside it, an Intuition Pulse where you log how each interaction left you, so you can see whether your sense of things moved with their follow-through.

Action Timeline

3 weeks ago

Confirmed a day ahead, arrived early

9 days ago

Canceled dinner, rescheduled within the hour

1 week ago

Rescheduled dinner happened exactly as promised

Color

Choose Hibiscus, Azure or Pine. The whole app follows, in light or dark, and it stays chosen on your device.

Hibiscus

Check in Peace ↘
Overview Dates

Azure

Check in Peace ↘
Overview Dates

Pine

Check in Peace ↘
Overview Dates

WHAT IS INSIDE

A set of quiet tools.

No swiping, no matching, no algorithm. A place to write things down, laid out so the truth is easier to see.

WHY IT ENDED

When it ends, you still have the record.

Mark someone Ended and a button appears on their page, opening everything difficult you logged while it was happening.

After some time passes, it can be easy to remember the good parts and question why you ended it.

You wrote this yourself, before you had any reason to soften it.

THE RECORD

Why it ended with Michael T.

IN YOUR WORDS

Add

You have not written why yet. What follows is what you logged at the time.

RED FLAGS YOU LOGGED

⚑

Breadcrumbing

Noted overall

⚑

Mixed signals about exclusivity

Noted overall

⚑

Avoided questions about what they want

1st date, Coffee

STATEMENTS THAT DID NOT HOLD

"I'll make more time for us."

Nothing changed a month later

You logged three red flags and one statement that did not hold while the connection was happening.

PATTERNS

What your own data says, once there is enough of it.

The Patterns page compares what you have logged across your List and surfaces what keeps repeating.

Every insight links to the people behind it, and each reframe cites its source. You can add your own.

Your standards are working

The people still active on your List average 5 green flags; the ones you ended or paused average 1.

A repeating red flag: canceled plans

This appears across 2 different people.

Michael T. › James M. ›

Consistency, not intensity

Intensity can be immediate. Consistency reveals itself over time. Repeated changes in contact or follow-through may be worth looking at more closely.

ARTICLES & QUIZZES

Healthy perspectives, and where they come from.

Five ten-question quizzes drawn from established frameworks, each naming the work it comes from.

Alongside them, eight pieces of reading from organizations that do this work for a living.

And when you need more than an app, eight free confidential helplines and therapy directories, because a notebook is not a person.

02 Available

Are they emotionally available?

Consistency, repair after conflict, and whether conversations about the future lead to actual plans.

5 min · 10 questions · adult attachment research

04 A few habits

What I bring to this

Whether you test people instead of asking them, and whether someone steady starts to feel boring.

IF YOU NEED MORE THAN AN APP

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988

love is respect

1-866-331-9474

Free, confidential, staffed 24/7 by trained advocates.

WHEN YOU START DOUBTING YOURSELF

Did they say something, then say they didn’t?

You do not have to rely on memory alone.
You logged what happened.

Dated, in your own words, written down the night it happened.

And the rest of it.

Everything included with either billing option. No locked features.

Philosophies

Ideas and writings that offer perspective on love, character, and relationships.

Potential Connections

People you are noticing but have not dated yet.

Reflections

Thoughts, statements, and common beliefs about dating with many set beside what the research says.

Standards

An area to list your standards and goals.

Calendar

Plan dates on a month view and attach the person.

Journals

A private area of customizable books just for you. Create your journals of poems, dreams, or whatever you want to write about.

Values & Fit

Values, communication, lifestyle, emotional and physical connection can be quickly noted here.

Timeline

Photographs and moments on a timeline you can print.

Your Mirror

A private space for honest self-reflection, and what you notice about yourself.

Observatory

An optional reflective lens on temperament and attraction, held lightly: a language for noticing, not a verdict.

Export & Backup

Export everything you have written, any time.

15 days free

Then $7.99 a month or $49.99 a year.

See pricing

Private by default.

Your profiles and notes are private to your account. There are no public profiles, and other users cannot browse or view what you write.

Your List is saved to your account so it is available when you sign in on another device. A copy is also kept on this device. Your email is used to create and manage your account.

For added privacy, you can blur the screen when you switch windows or double-tap Escape to leave instantly. Export your information whenever you choose or delete everything at once.

Fifteen days free. Then $7.99 a month or $49.99 a year.

Choose monthly or yearly billing. Full access with either option, no ads, and no limit on how many people you keep.

15 days free

THE LIST

$7.99/month

or $49.99/year

Yearly is billed as one $49.99 payment. Choose your plan before entering a card.

Free for your first 15 days.

15 days free, then $7.99 per month or $49.99 per year, billed automatically until you cancel. Cancel any time in Settings — cancel before the trial ends and you will not be charged.

  • • Unlimited people on Your List
  • • Date tabs for every date, flags and notes
  • • Actions vs Words and the Intuition Pulse
  • • Guided check-ins, reflection notes and Your Mirror
  • • Patterns across everyone on your List
  • • Journal, Standards and Potential Connections
  • • Articles, quizzes and the support directory
  • • Philosophies area, words you return to
  • • Timeline, and a keepsake you can print
  • • And more
Start My 15 Days

Cancel any time. Your record exports with you.

Use the full app for fifteen days and see whether keeping the record changes what you notice.

About The List